Afraid
by KittyMay
Summary: OneShot - AU - Yaoi - I wanted him to be mine. But he never looked at me that way and I was aware of it. I wanted to tell him that I didn't want to be only his friend, but also his lover. But I was afraid and I don't know why.


_To Reya, From May & Lea!_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Beyblade. Only a big poster of Kai and Ray. Drools

**Summary:** AU Yaoi / I wanted him to be mine. But he never looked at me that way and I was aware of it. I wanted to tell him that I didn't want to be only his friend, but also his lover. But I was afraid and I don't know why.

**Genre:** Drama, Romance, Tragedy  
**  
Rating:** PG13/ T

**A/N:** Ok, so this is my first Beyblade and my first Yaoi fic. Please don't be very critic of it. It is dedicated to **Reya-chan**, who today turned 15. Happy birth day Reya! I know that it is spouse to be happy and that what you are about to read is sad. But I got this idea and I wanted to write it down as a birth day fic present for you. Hope you'll enjoy reading it.

Edited by **Lea**!

**Warning:** As you may notice this is an AU. So the characters in here are **very** OOC. Don't like it, don't read it!

**AFRAID**

I sat in my class and stared at a boy besides me.  
He was my best friend.  
I looked at his hair and thoughtful face.  
I wanted him to be mine. But he never looked at me that way and I was aware of it  
After class he turned to me and pleaded me for my notes.

I lend them to him.  
He said _''Thanks.''_ And hugged me.  
I wanted to tell him that I didn't want to be only his friend.  
But I was afraid and I don't know why.

A couple of months later the telephone rang. When I picked it up, he was on the other line.  
As he cried and explained to me how his long time girlfriend broke his heart, I felt a sudden rage burst open inside me, but I kept it inside and didn't say nothing.  
Then, out of the blue he asked me if I could come over, because he didn't want to be alone.  
I was there in less than a minute.  
We sat on the couch, ate some chips and watched some action movies.  
I looked at his sad face but even sad it was very handsome.  
I wanted him to be mine.  
But he never looked at me that way and that I was aware of.  
Then he said that he was feeling tired and that he is going to bed. We said our good byes, but before I left he looked me in my eyes and said _''Thank you .''_ Then he hugged me.  
I wanted to tell him that I love him, but I was to afraid and still I don't know why.

Next year we had a dance. A day before the big evening he came to me and said that his date is sick.  
I also didn't have a date, so we decided too go together as best friends, as buddies without a date.  
When the night was over I stood on his door steps.  
I looked at him as he smiled at me and looked at me with those handsome blue eyes.  
I wanted him to be mine.  
But he never looked at me that way and I was aware of it.  
Then he said _''Thanks, I had a great time.'' A_nd then he hugged me very thighly.  
I wanted to tell him that I didn't want to be only his friend anymore, that I loved him.  
But I was to afraid and still, I don't know why.

The days past, so did the months and all of a sudden the day when we graduate high school came.  
I looked as he walked on the stage to get his diploma.  
He was so handsome, his hair shining, his face flawless. So very handsome.  
I wanted him to be mine. With all my heart I wanted him to be mine.  
But I was aware that he never looked at me that way.

Before we went home he came to me. He cried and I hugged him.  
Then he lifted his face and said. _''You are my best friend. Thank you.'' _Then he hugged me backwith all his might.  
I wanted to tell him that I didn't want to be only his friend anymore, I wanted him to know that. I wanted to tell him that I love him.  
But I was afraid and still I don't know why.

I am sitting in a church. My friend is getting married, he is getting married now.  
I looked at him, how he stood before the altar, he was very handsome.  
I looked as he said _''yes''_ and I felt a pang at my heart, like something just shattered.  
I wanted him to be mine, but he loved her and I was aware of it  
And I knew, he would never looked at me the way he did at her.  
Before he took of with his new wife in to a new life he came to me.  
He hugged me and said. _''You came. Thanks.''_ Than he hugged me again.  
I wanted to tell him, I wanted to tell him how I feel about him, I wanted to tell him that I don't want to be only a friend, that I love him.  
But I was afraid and I don't know why.

Years past and now I'm looking in coffin of a boy who once was my best friend.  
When they were reading his Journal of his collage days, they also read these words.  
_''I watch him and want him to be mine. But he never looks at me that way, the way I'm looking him and I'm aware of it. I want to tell him, I want him to know. But I'm to afraid and I don't know why. Maybe I'm just waiting for the right moment, or maybe I just want him to be the first to talk. How I wish that he'll come and **tell** me that he loves me.''  
_  
_'How I wish I would. Takao...'_ I, Kai Hiwatari though as I cried silent tears.  
**  
THE END  
**  
So what do you think? Review? Flames will be stuck down your asses. -Any problems? .

Ps. You think this was way to OOC, wellI did leave a warning. So it's your entire fault!


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